A couple of days ago, some of my colleagues were talking about the video of the beheaded american. Nick Berg was abducted by terrorists linked to Al Qaida, and in front of a video camera, had his head sawed off. The video was made available on the internet.

My colleagues received the video file in their mailbox and were too squeamish to watch it, and yet, driven by curiosity, couldn't quite let it go either.

They even planned to watch it together in one of their cubicles.

Something wasn't quite right.

So I told them that the victim's family were informed of his death by the US authorities a few days before the release of the video. But learning of the availablity of his gruesome and painful death on the web made it alot harder to come to terms with his death.

My colleagues didn't get the hint.

So I said that everyone deserves respect even in death. Would you want to have your own moment of death broadcast for all to see?

To me, it is not the viewing of the video per se that does not sit well with me, but the attitude and motive behind it.

Are you having a morbid curiosity to see how a man dies as he has his head severed? Or are you trying to prove to yourself and others that you can stomach watching something this gruesome? Or are you watching it simply because someone sent it to you?

If you really have to watch it, please do so with respect and compassion for the victim. It is the same with the deaths of countless innocent Iraqis not named in the media. Please keep in mind their humanity as you witness their deaths, lest you chip away at your own.

I have been wondering what I am going to do with this blog, and I have decided to share little nuggets of wisdom with my visitors. So, I will be posting little stories and aphorisms from various traditions.

Since zen resonates most strongly in me, there will be more zen sayings. There will also be some Taoist wisdom, perhaps some Sufism, maybe a little Kabbalah, the Bible, and not a few doses from the Gnostic tradition.

So, if you have anything to say about those sayings, please feel free to leave your comments.

To start off, here is something from zen:

Muddy Road

Tanzan and Ekido were once traveling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was still falling.

Coming around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross the intersection.

"Come on, girl," said Tanzan at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud.

Ekido did not speak again until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he no longer could restrain himself. "We monks don't go near females," he told Tanzan, "especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?"

"I left the girl there," said Tanzan. "Are you still carrying her?"

- from Zen Flesh, Zen Bones compiled by Paul Reps and Nyogen Senzaki.

Been a hectic day for me today. It started with me sending my car for servicing at 8.30 in the morning in order to beat the rush. Being my first time, I probably acted like one, especially after I have registered and left the car at the workshop, and was about to go off still holding my car keys. I think I caused quite a bit of inconvenience to the rest of the drivers for as I was leaving after the job was done, I made a wrong turn and ended up moving against the traffic.

Next, I had to get to the HDB office to renew my season parking, and then pick up my mum and sister to head for the Kwong Wai Siew collumbarium. For those who are fortunate enough not to have lost a close relative, the annual 'qing ming jie' is here again. It is a time for the living to remember their departed loved ones.

The journey was rather stressful for my sister, as she said she knew the way there and offered to be the guide for the newbie driver, me. She did not tell me to make a turn in time for me to filter to the correct lane and we spent the next few minutes 'exploring' the neighbourhood. She vowed never to take driving lessons due to the stress.

But, we got there, eventually.

The place was filled with people, attendants, cars, and of course, smoke. Oh yah, we were paying our respects to my father, who passed away last year. This is the first 'qing ming' for me.

After a quick lunch, and sending my mum and sister home, I did not get to stop and rest and had to rush back to office. For some stupid project.

And to round off the busy day, a movie, 'The Eye 2' and a very pleasant dose of Panadol.

I used to listen to Class 95's Morning Express as an angst-filled NS boy. That was way back in 1994. Hell, I am still full of angst, but I am not young any more. Back then, it was hosted by Joe Augustin and Melissa Hiak. Their chemistry was electric! Every morning, their playful banter would light up my mornings and made my dreadful NS days a little more bearable.

The hosts have changed through the years, and now, Glenn, Rod and the Flying Dutchman are the hosts. Sorry to those who are their fans, but I can't help feeling that since Glenn and Rod joined the team, the Morning Express seems to have dumbed-down. Especially with their inane "brudder!". Furthermore, the chemistry between the younger Glenn and Rod and the older FD seems to be woefully absent. But it is the dumbing-down that really gets to me.

Just the other day, they were on the topic of gay marriage in Singapore. Glenn's arguements against it were so simplistic and narrow that I felt embarrassed for him for spouting them. He merely assumed that being gay is a lifestyle choice, which I believe the gays would dispute. The issue of whether one's sexual orientation is due to genes or choice is hotly debated among scientists and psychologists. And here we have a radio DJ spouting "brudder!" who thinks he knows better.

This dumbing-down of content. Is it because Class 95 wants to appeal to a younger audience? Or could it be that it has not dumbed-down, but it is I who have out-grown it?

Today, I was inducted into the mysteries of ... car washing. My family has never owned a car, so I don't know how it is done. So today, I drove to my colleague's place and he showed me what to do, what to use, which parts of the car to watch out for, and as a bonus, taught me how to maintain my car.

Two nights ago, I was driving near town area when I almost killed someone. I never saw it coming.The lights turned green. The car in front moved. I moved. And then at the other end of the junction, the lights were red and pedestrains started crossing! I stepped on my brake just in time before I ploughed into a lady. She got the fright of her life and I gestured my apologies.

Apart from that experience, driving is fun. It is liberating, although not finanacially so. It feels great when you cruise along the highway, with your favourite music on, and alone with your thoughts.